Travel Storms and Cyborgs and the Outer Zone, Oh My

I hold a huge conceit against every movie Sci-Fi channel makes. I've tried watching the Saturday night monster flicks but I usually can't take more than a few minutes before giving up. Thus, I turned to Tin Man, not expecting them to do any justice to "The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz." I came to the conclusion after the first 10 minutes, "this doesn't suck." We're not talking Shakespeare here, but the retelling is quite inventive. Maybe I should say re-imagining because this is the Wizard Of Oz in concept only. There are little tidbits of the familiar, flying monkeys, tornadoes... that's about it. The Munchkins are more like the new Oompa-Loompas, but more colors (and pissed off); No Lollipop Guild; The Yellow Brick Road isn't yellow, and barely made of bricks; Tornadoes are for dimensional travel; The Wicked Witch Of The West isn't green or ugly, she's a hottie in a chromed out bustier and shoulder armor (and she has leather clad Nazi shock troops); Dorothy is only known as DG; No dog (yet); A town of Cyborgs; The Wizard does a show in drugged out burlesque theater; The Horse Of Many Colors is a 2-and-a-half-ton truck with every color of paint from Home Depot spilled on it; The Scarecrow, Lion, and Tin Man aren't the Scarecrow, Lion, or Tin Man; DG is a waitress like Sarah Conner. The list goes on. This doesn't make it bad at all, however. The same kind of thing was done to BattleStar Galactica and that show turned out fantastic. BTW DG is played by Zooey Deschanel, Trillion from the new Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy movie.

For everyone that plays 2nd Life news has come out recently of a creative, yet simple hack that strips you of your in-game money. You are basically being virtually pick pocketed, which is bad (duhh) because the in-game Linden Dollar which can be traded for real money. This threat to you can easily be disabled with a trip to the menus.

Other little tidbits of news have popped up. Ready for the holiday season is a quick review/reference guide to the new Star Trek novels of the season. Since we sadly have no new Trek to watch the books do provide a good diversion until next Christmas. Use the guide to avoid the few bad Tribbles in the list. The best book on the list is a Next Generation book, Q&A, about Q and some connection to Encounter At Farpoint. This is on my Christmas wish list. Speaking of books, the Barnes & Nobles on Post Road in Orange is closing and a lot of books are going on sale. Now's a good time ransack their wares.

Wizard's Of The Coast is creating an online campaign for the Star Wars roleplaying game, Dawn Of Defiance, and the first chapter of ten became available this week. The game is set between Episode III and Star Wars, letting PCs play out one of the crucial moments in the formation of the Rebellion. I haven't picked up the game yet, but maybe this Xmas/Light Day I'll get lucky.

I'm beginning to think I should have a Nintendo Wii. After watching the trailer for No More Heroes, I decided it's about time to ad this to my Xmas list too, along with Super Mario Galaxy.

I looked around for a while trying to find a descent top 100 all time anime from Japan list and I came a cross one from TV Asahi. At some point I'd like to write a review of each of the series that are available in America. Gives me an excuse to watch more anime.

#78 on IGNs list of games is Legend Of Zelda: Link's Awakening. I never had a GameBoy but I did have a Super Nintendo, so I bought a Super GameBoy. The Super GB is fantastic, stick it in the SNES cartridge slot, then put your GB game in the cartridge. The screen was a little smaller than the TV screen but you could add a border and even change the game colors so they weren't black and white (okay, black and pea soup green). Like all Zelda games before me I sat in front of it with my full attention to get all the puzzles and absorb all the game play. I never imagined, at the time, that a GameBoy game could be this deep. It took me two (2) months to complete and it's a great addition to the pantheon.

#76 is FINAL FANTASY VII. This is one of the most important games ever made. Why it's so low on the list makes me question the validity of this list. This game moved the esoteric, fan-boy loving RPG genre into a gloriously weaved story of artistic proportions. I bought a PSX just to own this game, and it was well worth it. There isn't much more I can say that hasn't been experienced/written before. My love of Square Soft (now Square Enix) began here, and it continues to be my favorite. From the pre-rendered cut scenes to random Star Wars references, this game created the standard for future installments, brilliantly leading to FFX. This game, however, created my true hatred, Sephiroth. I don't need to tell you of my love of Aris (I prefer this over the re-release Aerith). I spent so much time with her, learning the city, understanding the resistance, traveling the world. I trained as best I could to be a warrior and spurned other women in the party just for her attention. I loved her. Until Sephiroth stabbed her in the F'ING BACK and ended my happiness, forever. I hate him so much. I ruined a relationship with the girl I was seeing to kill him. It took 20 minutes and everybody I had, down to my last spell and hit point. I thought it was over. Then he resurrected somehow, and with great joy I watched his punk-ass die again. Rewind, and I get to watch him die, again and again and again. I F'ING HATE HIM. I hope I never meet the voice of him because, so help me, I'll snap. I'll have a flashback/PTSD moment and kill him. Sorry, my therapist told me not to bottle up stuff like this.

#75 is GoldenEye 007. Best damn FPS made, until Half-Life & Halo. Using only one (1) analogue stick on the N64 you could still play the game. Prior to this was Turok, but it didn't compare. GoldenEye created a polygon filled environment that just seemed right. All the weapons and enemies, and friends, were perfect. This is a rare moment when everything in development of a game meshes, creating an experience, more than a game. The familiar music and the incredible multi-player just added frosting to the 007 cake. Proximity Mines have got to be the most important weapon created for an FPS until the Gravity Gun in Half-Life 2. This team of developers would later go on to make Perfect Dark.

#73 is Resident Evil. I have one tale to tell, a listen well. At a friends house he powered up the extraordinary PSX (at the time there was nothing like the pixilated 3D worlds of Sony) and loaded Resident Evil. I was amazed at the mansion I ran around in. Trying to get a feel for menus and clunky controls I bravely walked down the corridor of doom that introduced me to survival horror. This isn't the unsettling environs of Silent Hill, RE created the in-your-face Survival Horror genre. As I walk down the quite corridor I pulled out me pistol. I didn't trust the hallway but the reassurance of a nine-millimeter in my hand was almost as good as liquid courage. I approached a window when suddenly two (2) undead dogs burst forth in shattered glass and barking and howling. I think I dropped my controller. What ever happened I stabbed every button I could in three seconds time and to no avail. The dogs ended me in no time. I threw the controller down and never played again. I thought the first movie was great. Those few seconds of horror I experienced was well put into the movie, and then some.

Here's the viral video of the week. Don't try this at home unless you're a drunk guy with a Suzuki Sidekick, and a giant dirt ramp. See you next broadcast.

A "Myst" Is As Good As A "Portal"

Let's knock Star Trek out of the way. It's been a week of filming for ST XI and the only news we get so far is casting choices. Kirk's dad, George, will be played by a 24 years old Chris Hemsworth. He ain't played in anything I heard of except the TV show "Martial Law", where he played a kid. This makes Kirk's father younger than Kirk. Presumable Kirk's mom will be cast around this age, and can explain why Spock's mom is so young. Odds are we're getting flashbacks, ruining my idea for Kirk's Enterprise launch ceremony. So if we get a Spock that looks the age of Leonard Nimoy, then Spock is in the TNG era (remember, Spock has been hanging out with the Romulans since season 5 of TNG). If this isn't a Flashback oriented movie then maybe, like ST: Generations, its being told in two parts across two generations. And, a new bad guy has been chosen, the lucky actor being Clifton Collins Jr. He is possibly better know by geeks as a voice in GTA: San Andreas (Cesar Vialpando, you sister's boyfriend) and The Replacement Killers. Check out imdb to see what else he's done.

BioWare's new brainchild, Mass Effect, is nearing release and I found new footage, here and here. This reminds me of Gears of War, which took some time to get used to having played much Halo in my past. I love the look of the worlds and technology but I'm not into the squad thing, as much. I like my FPS or TPS solo so I can be the hero. Plus your teammates rarely do you any favors, and more often than not, flag your fire then yell at you for shooting them. I like how Half-Life 2 dealt with this be not letting you shot anyone but the enemy. Mass Effect isn't GTA, so there's no excuse why games still let you shoot your teammates when that doesn't alter or effect the story in any way (and usually breaks the "reality" of the game). I especially hated in Colony Wars when you shot your wingman, you were suddenly targeted as the enemy and everyone fires at you. It's not my fault my wingman is between me and my enemy when all sorts of things are shooting at me from every direction. So why punish me for being unable to tell my environment from digital mush. WTF?

Portal, of Orange Box fame, has had many more interesting words aimed at it. Portal, as I've mentioned before, is brilliant. To further my thoughts on this game I want to explain why "who you are" makes this game good. Whoever you are in life, when you play Portal, that is who you are. Sure, when you can actually see yourself you are a girl trapped in a puzzle, but she doesn't talk, act, or do anything that isn't you. So, basically, she's your avatar. Of course there are limits to what you can do, that's called gameplay. It's a simulation of what you would do in the same situation. I might have cried a little bit first, then moved on with the puzzle, but the point is you aren't pretending to be a bounty hunter or plumber or something that's integral to the universe. This reminds me of Myst. You are you in Myst too. Whereas Myst was a still-life puzzle game, your mind filled in the blanks. It even made the moments of action that much more impressive. For some reason when Myst made the jump to full 3-D interactive it lost some charm, and lots of fans. Portal certainly works where Myst failed without you needing to be a member of mensa. It took me many 6-packs of Zima to even get half of Myst's puzzles. I never even bothered with the sequels.

Watching Attack Of The Show (AOTS) today they mentioned an internet TV viewing site called Miro. I don't know enough about it yet to report on it, but give me time. Also, what happens when video game geeks are in charge of halftime during a football game? This video from YouTube is the answer. Tomorrow Guitar Hero III will be mine if I can find a copy for X360. Best Buy was sold out today, as is their website. I'll persevere. Then I can get this guitar "Itch" out of me so I can get Rock Band next week. I'm excited to try World Tour. Dibs on drums. See you next broadcast.

By Grabthar's Warhammer 40K... By The Sons of Warcraft...

Today is payday, and it being a Friday, the day is never complete without a shopping trip. I received an Email coupon for Barnes & Noble and headed over there at lunch. Of late, I realise I know nothing of the World Of Warcraft (WOW) other than the RTS PC gaming origin and the CCG starter I bought (and still haven't openned). In the sci-fi section I found an Atlas to Warcraft and a comic (produced by Tokyopop). Maybe this mild immersion into the field will prepare me for the day I eventually go online.

After work I headed to my local comic nirvana, Clockwork Comics, and hoped to get in a sealed, draft game of the Magic set, Lorwyn. Several new game mechanics have been introduced in the many years since I played regularly, so I tapped (pardon the pun) the owners mind for all the hidden meaning behind Plainswalkers, Haste, Flash, Tribal, Bushido, Changeling, Clashing, Hideaway, Vigilance, Champion, and Evoke. I miss the Star Wars CCG. I eagerly absorbed the new knowledge, but, alas, no one showed to play. So the owner introduced me to Warhammer 40K. I've heard of it, I've even seen people play, but up close and personal with the rules and figures and sets and dice (not to mention the substantial dollar value) the game is quite daunting. It appears to be an analogue (ie not a video game) offshoot of Warcraft. A turn-based strategy game with intricate pieces (from soldier to vehicle to mech to factory) to be layed out on a board that would make most HO model train enthusiasts jealous. You roll special dice and have special measurement markers for a blast radius or a flame thrower. No grids are used just a model battle field (scale 1:65) and measuring tape. It sounds clunky but after seeing a little bit of it I came to the conclusion it allows for much more freedom than some of the more restrictive "grid games", like the HeroClix series, Mage Knight, or even Star Wars. A new set called "Apocalypse" was just released with some of the largest vehicles seen yet, as well as expanded play for even larger armies. If I undertood this more I would have had an orgasm. As it is, Warhammer represents a geek passion I'm not familiar with. I should also note that collectors put great care towards the painting of the figures (which are silver but come with paint). An RPG is planned for 2008 and I'm interested to see if the two (2) games can be played side to side.

While I was waiting for a game of Magic that never happened I finally found the Star Wars constructible strategy game (as opposed to the Star Wars Starship collectible miniatures game), and much like the "Pirate Ship" game, half the fun is building a Star Wars ship. In my one pack I managed the rare Tantive IV and the common Droid Tri-Fighter (2 of 'em) and an ARC fighter. The printing on the punch-out sheets is excellent but having large fingers is a disadvantage here. These pieces will break if they don't go together perfectly. I'll have to see the game in action though to give it my full praise or not. When you leave me in a comicbook store long enough I start buying comics. Today was no exception so I bought the latest Superman, Batman, Superman & Batman together, Flash, Justice League, Green Lantern, and Spawn issues. A new Star Trek comic is being made called Year Four so I snatched that up, and Frank Miller is even doing an All Star Batman & Robin I had to grab. Tonight I will forgo the 360 for the large bounty of comics I acquired. Today I came across this site which details the current state of Comicbook Movies. I'm looking forward to the Green Lantern movie, featuring Hal Jordon. I've been waiting for this since high-school. When the Grayson preview hit the internet I was psyched when I saw GL, and now we're getting a movie.

On a side note; as I write this Stargate Atlantis is on. The store owner recommended this program tonight, so I'm giving it a try. Two (2) things have jumped out at me, so far. The character Dr. Keller is played by Jewel Staite, Kaylee from Firefly. It's good to see this actress still running around in Sci-Fi. The other thing I noticed is the name of the episode: Tabula Rasa. The phrase can be interpreted as "blank slate." This happens to be the name of a new PC game, produced by the gaming guru/development giant Richard "Lord British" Garriott, that comes out today. A strange coincidence. While perusing gametrailers.com I came across this little video showing off the promise of Sony's PlayStation Eye Of Sauron. This just goes to show I'm a sucker for a preview with Epic Music. If Ishtar were redone with the music from LOTR I would totally go see it.

That's it for now, hopeful next time I broadcast I will have defeated Half-Life 2: Episode 2 (HL2-E2). HL2-E3 better come out soon, unless of course it sucks right now, then Valve should take all the time they need. I'll need a breather after this season's rush of games. I'll hold off on GH3 until I see EmpTass play it like Slash.