Just a Quicky

I decided not to blog on Monday, as it was a day off, but I wanted to say a couple things as an appetizer to a future blog. I have a crush I developed last year, thanks to Penny Arcade. And the focus of that crush is Felicia Day, and her Knights of Good. This weekend I caught up on The Guild season 2 which is a free HD download on Xbox Live. Tonight is the finale of season 2, and to celebrate, Felicia Day ran a live Ustream video of a party at her place. I think it's her place. I've never watched a live streaming anything on the internet, and that includes the panda cam.

This is still like watching the characers of The Guild on my computer, but they are live. The only person missing was Tink/Amy Okuda. I think the live show was actually longer than the combined two seasons, including the 2 christmas specials and four blooper reels. These are inspired comedian/actors in a niche web comedy. If you have ever been addicted to an MMO you owe yourself this series.

This Saturday I caught up on all my TV for the week (see previous post for viewing habits) and the shows I regularly watch that stand out are 24, Fringe, and Terminator. These are the only shows that are getting anywhere. I've decided Heroes is on a slow burn. It's a pilot-light of a plot that just burns and slowly moves the story forward. Very slowly. I was pumped when Michael Dorn was the President at the last episode of December, but where is he? 24 is the exact opposite of Heroes. There is more done between commerical breaks than in whole episodes of Heroes. Even Knight Rider gets more done.

My last problem I'll aim at Heroes is Matt's precog powers. SPOILER WARNING: Matt can see the future and can see that Speedster Girlfriend will get shot by the tail of the plane. Matt then goes there just to see her die. He never tried warning her or nothing. What is the point of seeing the future if you can’t do anything about it. I know that Heroes started on the premise that Doomsday is approaching unless everyone can stop it. So obviously, the future can change. Matt draws a picture of himself being shot, then he gets shot. That’s a great power since he drew himself getting shot right before he got shot. Maybe if he left his apartment instead of drawing he wouldn’t have got shot, he wouldn’t crash in a plane, and Daphne wouldn’t have been shot either. This is a great power. Your own power is just effing with you. Otherwise, Matt’s a cool character.

I haven't watched much CSI in the past couple years, but now that Morpheus is on the show it actually has my attention. I'm back with it. I even watch CSINY off and on, I just can't watch Miami. I want more Fishburne face time in the show, because I care less about everyone else, except Catherine; I still like her.

I gave up on Call of Duty 5 this weekend for the Minesweeper: Flags on XBL. Minesweeper is generally about logical and careful plotting to clear the board. CoD:WaW on Veteran is so random when it came to engagements you can't work through it slowly. CoD 2 on Veteran was a slow process but you could still be patient and work. On some boards in World at War you can't hold still. Even if you take your time the game spawns enemies behind you, just to kill you. But if you watch your back, nothing happens. I spent an hour trying to get past one part. That's my due diligence. I moved on to the first Russian mission that pits you against a sniper. No matter what I did the sniper killed me. After a half hour I looked up on a forum and it turns out I have to shoot him more than once. But his bullets kill you instantly. No effin' way. I'm out. Gonna play Minesweeper, where I die on my own terms. Logging out.

The School Of Rock Band Conspiracy

With my extra time off today, due to being let out of work early, I immediately went home and played more Guitar Hero. Inspired thusly, I watched my DVD of School Of Rock, and I noticed a strange coincidence. A line from Jack Black explains to the children their new project is called... "insert dramatic pause" ...Rock Band. Why does this matter? A little game that came out yesterday called... Rock Band. Connecting the dots begins now.

School Of Rock was made by Paramount Pictures, a subsidary of Viacom. Rock Band was produced by Harmonix, the original makers of Guitar Hero. Harmonix was recently purchased by MTV (you know, Music Television, the channel that only showed videos in the 80s) after they split from Red Octane, the makers of the official guitar peripherals. Neversoft picked up the Guitar Hero franchise and Rock Band becomes the true spiritual successor to the series. Why am I pointing any of this out? Because Viacom also owns MTV. So an off-hand piece of dialog from School Of Rock just happens to appear as the name of a video game about a rock band, both of which have connections to MTV. I don't believe in coincidence. I have a hunch that the game's name is a "tip of the hat" to the movie, since you can only truly appreciate the game as a group, not just solo.

Having more or less mastered Easy (getting 5 stars on all the songs) I moved on to Medium this week. There is a huge gap in difficulty here. Not only do you have to use four (4) Fret Buttons instead of three (3), but the on-screen fret board comes flying at you like a race track and chords are everywhere. Did any of the groups in the game ever think their greatest hits would cause tendonitis or carpel tunnel to Rock Fans immitating their moves with a plastic guitar? I curse Heart for that damn baseline in Baracuda. And Eric Clapton just wanted to make some riffs impossible just because he can do them for real. I'm betting it would be easier to play Black Magic Woman on a real guitar than with the game set to Expert.

I'm always thinking of the future and I wonder what advances in Rhythm Gaming will come of this. I don't expect DDR to mix with Karaoke Revolution, even though I think Milli Vanilli would put on a mean demo if Vanilli were still alive. In the next Rock Band (or clone to come out) I'd like to see a keyboard/synth. Even better if it is the "portable" one you wear like a guitar. Then we could really play Police tracks, or anything from the 80s. I'd also like the guitars weigh a little more, too.

Enough Rock for today. As a geek I love lists of things. I found a Sci-Fi site that maintains top 100, and sometimes 200, lists of TV shows, Movies, and Books. Just the kind of thing I think geeks ought to know. I would treat it as a "To Do" list of media to familiarize yourself with. Anyway, what geek doesn't like Sci-Fi. Watch lots of movies, eat lots of Turkey, have a happy Thanks Giving and see you next broadcast.

A "Myst" Is As Good As A "Portal"

Let's knock Star Trek out of the way. It's been a week of filming for ST XI and the only news we get so far is casting choices. Kirk's dad, George, will be played by a 24 years old Chris Hemsworth. He ain't played in anything I heard of except the TV show "Martial Law", where he played a kid. This makes Kirk's father younger than Kirk. Presumable Kirk's mom will be cast around this age, and can explain why Spock's mom is so young. Odds are we're getting flashbacks, ruining my idea for Kirk's Enterprise launch ceremony. So if we get a Spock that looks the age of Leonard Nimoy, then Spock is in the TNG era (remember, Spock has been hanging out with the Romulans since season 5 of TNG). If this isn't a Flashback oriented movie then maybe, like ST: Generations, its being told in two parts across two generations. And, a new bad guy has been chosen, the lucky actor being Clifton Collins Jr. He is possibly better know by geeks as a voice in GTA: San Andreas (Cesar Vialpando, you sister's boyfriend) and The Replacement Killers. Check out imdb to see what else he's done.

BioWare's new brainchild, Mass Effect, is nearing release and I found new footage, here and here. This reminds me of Gears of War, which took some time to get used to having played much Halo in my past. I love the look of the worlds and technology but I'm not into the squad thing, as much. I like my FPS or TPS solo so I can be the hero. Plus your teammates rarely do you any favors, and more often than not, flag your fire then yell at you for shooting them. I like how Half-Life 2 dealt with this be not letting you shot anyone but the enemy. Mass Effect isn't GTA, so there's no excuse why games still let you shoot your teammates when that doesn't alter or effect the story in any way (and usually breaks the "reality" of the game). I especially hated in Colony Wars when you shot your wingman, you were suddenly targeted as the enemy and everyone fires at you. It's not my fault my wingman is between me and my enemy when all sorts of things are shooting at me from every direction. So why punish me for being unable to tell my environment from digital mush. WTF?

Portal, of Orange Box fame, has had many more interesting words aimed at it. Portal, as I've mentioned before, is brilliant. To further my thoughts on this game I want to explain why "who you are" makes this game good. Whoever you are in life, when you play Portal, that is who you are. Sure, when you can actually see yourself you are a girl trapped in a puzzle, but she doesn't talk, act, or do anything that isn't you. So, basically, she's your avatar. Of course there are limits to what you can do, that's called gameplay. It's a simulation of what you would do in the same situation. I might have cried a little bit first, then moved on with the puzzle, but the point is you aren't pretending to be a bounty hunter or plumber or something that's integral to the universe. This reminds me of Myst. You are you in Myst too. Whereas Myst was a still-life puzzle game, your mind filled in the blanks. It even made the moments of action that much more impressive. For some reason when Myst made the jump to full 3-D interactive it lost some charm, and lots of fans. Portal certainly works where Myst failed without you needing to be a member of mensa. It took me many 6-packs of Zima to even get half of Myst's puzzles. I never even bothered with the sequels.

Watching Attack Of The Show (AOTS) today they mentioned an internet TV viewing site called Miro. I don't know enough about it yet to report on it, but give me time. Also, what happens when video game geeks are in charge of halftime during a football game? This video from YouTube is the answer. Tomorrow Guitar Hero III will be mine if I can find a copy for X360. Best Buy was sold out today, as is their website. I'll persevere. Then I can get this guitar "Itch" out of me so I can get Rock Band next week. I'm excited to try World Tour. Dibs on drums. See you next broadcast.

WARNING! Difficulty Level May Block Game Play

The Chokepoint. Almost every game I've played has one. It can be at the beginning, like Driver, or at the end, like Metroid Prime. Heck, Viewtiful Joe is one long chokepoint. If a game lacks one I feel cheated. The game was too easy. But when I encounter one, I curse the game's creator to the 12 trials of Hercules (or at least great bodily harm). How dare he/she put me through this crap, I'm just trying to have fun here. The severity of the chokepoint is directly proportional to the amount yelling I do. I try to control myself, but somehow I firmly believe that my anger, my brief journey to the Dark Side, gives me strength to persevere. That, and what prize is on the other side. For, truly, the chokepoint is an obstacle to a greater goal; getting the next super-weapon, saving another princess, collecting a star/coin/triforce/bunny, finishing the game. And by chokepoint (CP), I mean an area or puzzle that just defies difficulty. Suddenly every Nazi on the planet knows you're hiding in that forest and shoot every square pixel of your body, exposed or not. I've seen some puzzles that require a Nobel Prize in physics, not to mention a new kind of calculus, to solve. I then ask myself, when I've calmed down with a beer, is this game worth it? I may blow the next hour trying desperately to memorize every move (ie Dragon's Lair) for a better suit of armor or a guardian fairy. Most of the time you have to beat the CP to continue, so if the game has been fun, most likely I'll continue, but if not, I'll loose interest immediately. Thanks to Achievements and Gamescore, if I get through a CP I'll get more points.

I am not unique in this, and I'm also a hypocrite. I need CPs but I hate them, because I feel cheated without them. They are like the green veggies of video gaming. However, a game needs to balance this. If passing through a CP gets me more of the same, I'm just grinding my enjoyment to a bloody, hatefilled, pulp. Another thing to consider is if there is a save point nearby or did you have to play a marathon before the CP, therefore negating all sorts of play time if you fail. This probably goes for everyone who plays, is this game worth the crap I'm about to go through. Half-Life 2 is definately that game, as are Halo, Call Of Duty, Medal Of Honor (usually) and Gears Of War. Where I have had trouble is with Fighting Games. Once you face the "Boss" in Dead Or Alive I can say I completed it. But there are all sorts of Achievements that require me to defeat the "Boss" with everyone multiple times. That's a CP I have to face 30 times. Not worth it. Fighting games are a different style of play, and I tend to prefer to play against real people, anyway. Chokepoints, you can't live with them, but you can usually shoot the hell out of everything in sight and move on to the next one. I hate Chokepoints. Apparently I'm a virtual masochist.

Digging around on the Internetwebs today I came across some interesting tidbits. Since I've been analyzing the issues of the PS3, I was interested to read about the console sales figures in September. Everyone else is selling almost 4 to 5 times as many units as the PS3 is able to sell. The Nintendo DS totally outsold PS3, not to mention PS2 and the PSP.

I miss Judgment Day on G4TV, and Tommy Tallarico's critical wit as he steered us clear of trivial nonsense and showed us a truer path to gaming goodness. He's no longer on TV but I found the next best thing. Yahtzee/Zero Punctuation game reviews by web video at this site, where he reviews MOH Airborne. He seems to hate everything, and half the time I can't really argue with him. Bloody brilliant.

Halo 3 and I are breaking up for a while, have gained everything I can out of her multiplayer experience. I've gone about as far as I can with her, and I see no reason to waste more time trying to gain rank and not Gamescore. I'm a Gamescore Whore after all and I can't be tied down to one game for too long. Wow, that got weird for a second. Anyway, someone else began to have the similar problems with online play and wrote this article on suicide bombers in Halo. I have a life, too, really.

The SR-71 Blackbird is the proof of concept that engineers are the coolest geeks on the planet, and not just because my grandpa used to work with them. The reason this aircraft's top speed is classified is that it was never found. Everytime the Russians flew something faster, we just stepped on the peddle a little harder. The design was ahead of its time and now its been retired. So, once again the name has surfaced, this time controlled by Voodoo. The Voodoo Blackbird is quite possibly the most advanced gaming computer built to date. And it plays the latest Graphic-Crunching, Physics-Bending, Frame-Frate hogging game, Crysis, with ease. And, of course, being the gamer I am, I want Crysis, but I basically have to buy a $5,500 Voodoo Blackbird console for a $50 game. Or wait five years and home computers will be just as good, with Windows Vista XP 2K10 Pro or some such and 5 TB RAID harddrives to match 60 GB of MagnoNeuroRAM. If you pre-order Crysis before next week, at a Gamestop, you can get a nifty toy tank thing that reminds me of the APC from Aliens. See you next broadcast.