Travel Storms and Cyborgs and the Outer Zone, Oh My

I hold a huge conceit against every movie Sci-Fi channel makes. I've tried watching the Saturday night monster flicks but I usually can't take more than a few minutes before giving up. Thus, I turned to Tin Man, not expecting them to do any justice to "The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz." I came to the conclusion after the first 10 minutes, "this doesn't suck." We're not talking Shakespeare here, but the retelling is quite inventive. Maybe I should say re-imagining because this is the Wizard Of Oz in concept only. There are little tidbits of the familiar, flying monkeys, tornadoes... that's about it. The Munchkins are more like the new Oompa-Loompas, but more colors (and pissed off); No Lollipop Guild; The Yellow Brick Road isn't yellow, and barely made of bricks; Tornadoes are for dimensional travel; The Wicked Witch Of The West isn't green or ugly, she's a hottie in a chromed out bustier and shoulder armor (and she has leather clad Nazi shock troops); Dorothy is only known as DG; No dog (yet); A town of Cyborgs; The Wizard does a show in drugged out burlesque theater; The Horse Of Many Colors is a 2-and-a-half-ton truck with every color of paint from Home Depot spilled on it; The Scarecrow, Lion, and Tin Man aren't the Scarecrow, Lion, or Tin Man; DG is a waitress like Sarah Conner. The list goes on. This doesn't make it bad at all, however. The same kind of thing was done to BattleStar Galactica and that show turned out fantastic. BTW DG is played by Zooey Deschanel, Trillion from the new Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy movie.

For everyone that plays 2nd Life news has come out recently of a creative, yet simple hack that strips you of your in-game money. You are basically being virtually pick pocketed, which is bad (duhh) because the in-game Linden Dollar which can be traded for real money. This threat to you can easily be disabled with a trip to the menus.

Other little tidbits of news have popped up. Ready for the holiday season is a quick review/reference guide to the new Star Trek novels of the season. Since we sadly have no new Trek to watch the books do provide a good diversion until next Christmas. Use the guide to avoid the few bad Tribbles in the list. The best book on the list is a Next Generation book, Q&A, about Q and some connection to Encounter At Farpoint. This is on my Christmas wish list. Speaking of books, the Barnes & Nobles on Post Road in Orange is closing and a lot of books are going on sale. Now's a good time ransack their wares.

Wizard's Of The Coast is creating an online campaign for the Star Wars roleplaying game, Dawn Of Defiance, and the first chapter of ten became available this week. The game is set between Episode III and Star Wars, letting PCs play out one of the crucial moments in the formation of the Rebellion. I haven't picked up the game yet, but maybe this Xmas/Light Day I'll get lucky.

I'm beginning to think I should have a Nintendo Wii. After watching the trailer for No More Heroes, I decided it's about time to ad this to my Xmas list too, along with Super Mario Galaxy.

I looked around for a while trying to find a descent top 100 all time anime from Japan list and I came a cross one from TV Asahi. At some point I'd like to write a review of each of the series that are available in America. Gives me an excuse to watch more anime.

#78 on IGNs list of games is Legend Of Zelda: Link's Awakening. I never had a GameBoy but I did have a Super Nintendo, so I bought a Super GameBoy. The Super GB is fantastic, stick it in the SNES cartridge slot, then put your GB game in the cartridge. The screen was a little smaller than the TV screen but you could add a border and even change the game colors so they weren't black and white (okay, black and pea soup green). Like all Zelda games before me I sat in front of it with my full attention to get all the puzzles and absorb all the game play. I never imagined, at the time, that a GameBoy game could be this deep. It took me two (2) months to complete and it's a great addition to the pantheon.

#76 is FINAL FANTASY VII. This is one of the most important games ever made. Why it's so low on the list makes me question the validity of this list. This game moved the esoteric, fan-boy loving RPG genre into a gloriously weaved story of artistic proportions. I bought a PSX just to own this game, and it was well worth it. There isn't much more I can say that hasn't been experienced/written before. My love of Square Soft (now Square Enix) began here, and it continues to be my favorite. From the pre-rendered cut scenes to random Star Wars references, this game created the standard for future installments, brilliantly leading to FFX. This game, however, created my true hatred, Sephiroth. I don't need to tell you of my love of Aris (I prefer this over the re-release Aerith). I spent so much time with her, learning the city, understanding the resistance, traveling the world. I trained as best I could to be a warrior and spurned other women in the party just for her attention. I loved her. Until Sephiroth stabbed her in the F'ING BACK and ended my happiness, forever. I hate him so much. I ruined a relationship with the girl I was seeing to kill him. It took 20 minutes and everybody I had, down to my last spell and hit point. I thought it was over. Then he resurrected somehow, and with great joy I watched his punk-ass die again. Rewind, and I get to watch him die, again and again and again. I F'ING HATE HIM. I hope I never meet the voice of him because, so help me, I'll snap. I'll have a flashback/PTSD moment and kill him. Sorry, my therapist told me not to bottle up stuff like this.

#75 is GoldenEye 007. Best damn FPS made, until Half-Life & Halo. Using only one (1) analogue stick on the N64 you could still play the game. Prior to this was Turok, but it didn't compare. GoldenEye created a polygon filled environment that just seemed right. All the weapons and enemies, and friends, were perfect. This is a rare moment when everything in development of a game meshes, creating an experience, more than a game. The familiar music and the incredible multi-player just added frosting to the 007 cake. Proximity Mines have got to be the most important weapon created for an FPS until the Gravity Gun in Half-Life 2. This team of developers would later go on to make Perfect Dark.

#73 is Resident Evil. I have one tale to tell, a listen well. At a friends house he powered up the extraordinary PSX (at the time there was nothing like the pixilated 3D worlds of Sony) and loaded Resident Evil. I was amazed at the mansion I ran around in. Trying to get a feel for menus and clunky controls I bravely walked down the corridor of doom that introduced me to survival horror. This isn't the unsettling environs of Silent Hill, RE created the in-your-face Survival Horror genre. As I walk down the quite corridor I pulled out me pistol. I didn't trust the hallway but the reassurance of a nine-millimeter in my hand was almost as good as liquid courage. I approached a window when suddenly two (2) undead dogs burst forth in shattered glass and barking and howling. I think I dropped my controller. What ever happened I stabbed every button I could in three seconds time and to no avail. The dogs ended me in no time. I threw the controller down and never played again. I thought the first movie was great. Those few seconds of horror I experienced was well put into the movie, and then some.

Here's the viral video of the week. Don't try this at home unless you're a drunk guy with a Suzuki Sidekick, and a giant dirt ramp. See you next broadcast.