The Crash of War Experiment

The year was 1954, in the summer month of July. Four new episodes of Rocky Jones, Space Ranger was on the air waves. If you were a Sci-Fi fan with a black and white TV and an antenna, this is what you saw.

Crash of Moons, part I- The Gypsy Moons, from Rocky's Odyssey, are the center of attention, again. Posita and Negato are moving into the inner solar system where most of the habitable planets are. Newton, Vena and Robby take Transport TR14 from Earth to space station OW9 to get close enough for radio contact. Rocky, Winky and Secretary Drake are on Ophiuchus trying to convince Cleolanthe to join the United Worlds. She wants nothing to do with them and kicks them off the planet. In space Rocky talks to Newton on the Astrophone and learns of the Gypsy Moons' movement. Rocky, being way smarter than Professor Newton (a scientist!), calculates that not only will the moons pass near OW9, but the station will be caught in between with the atmosphere chain. (There is a great visual of the two moons floating in space with lightning striking between the two.) Space Stations aren't designed for atmosphere and everyone needs to get off of it. The closest ship is TR14, but it isn't responding. Rocky races the Orbit Jet as fast as it will go, but OW9 is thrown all about. Quickly abusing science again he has Ranger Andrews use the Magnetic Tractor Beam to stabilize them, relative to the station, for a landing. He then pushes the station out of the atmosphere using full rockets and saves everyone. On Posita Bovaro is obsessed with his new child and their culture really has no idea about astronomy or where their moon is relative to anything. He just wants Rocky Jones to see his baby boy and makes everyone learn English. On the Orbit Jet Newton finally steps up his game and learns he better figure out if the Gypsy Moons are going to hit anything else. Even though every character on the ship, including Drake, questions him, Newton declares without a doubt Posita will impact Ophiuchus in one month. The Orbit Jet lands on Posita to deliver the bad news which insanely infuriates Bovaro who just wants people to love his baby. TO BE CONTINUED. Not a bad idea going on. The writers actually almost figured out gravity. Of course Newton was describing things, so it makes little sense. He claims the Gypsy Moons orbit each other (which is surprisingly spot-on science) and randomly move through the solar system. If that were the case then there would be no way to predict that Posita would hit Ophiuchus. He does mention all the planets orbit the sun, so that's something. However, since it used to be a planet in the solar system why isn't it still in the ecliptic plane of the sun, unless its orbit was more like a Kuiper Belt Object. I want the show to work, but I'm asking too much of these writers. Now to Rocky's science abuse: He saves the station by docking with it, then turning on his rockets to move it. That's fine except the docking port is asymmetrically positioned on the station. It would just spin in circles, unless for some reason the center of gravity is the docking port, then I'm not sure it would spin correctly as seen on screen. For that matter, why does the station spin? I thought it was for gravity but when you see the interior, the floor is flat and the walls are curved, not at all what you see in 2001: A Space Odyssey. It also appears that there are no thrusters on the station at all, but it ought to at least have a Reaction Control System to stabilize its position from all the gravitational effects of so many planets in the solar system. So close, yet so far for 1954. NASA won't be able to start advising Sci-Fi writers for another 4 years at the earliest.

Crash of Moons, part II- Bovaro comes to his senses and heads to Negato for to negotiate a total evacuation of Posita to the other moon. They do get in an argument whether or not they should warn Ophiuchus, since they were banished from the planet, but Rocky and Winky take the Orbit Jet to give it a try. On Ophiuchus, Atlasande is preparing for an important audience with Cleolanthe while his wife, Trinka, talks of leaving the planet. Even before landing on Ophiuchus Rocky sits in orbit broadcasting to anyone with an unscrambled Astrophone (something that is illegal on the planet punishable by death) about the impending disaster. Cleolanthe's standing order is to scramble any United Worlds' transmissions that arrive on her planet as she doesn't want her people to learn anything about the outside systems. Trinka has such an Astrophone, and gets his message. Atlasande comes home and catchers her with it, dragging her and the device back to Cleolanthe, to curry more favor. Cleolanthe won't listen to a traitor like Trinka and orders the Orbit Jet destroyed while it's trying to land. Trinka interferes (because she is stupidly left in the "war room") and Rocky safely lands. He runs into the city and captures Atlasande to make Cleolanthe listen to him. She finally believes him, but uses knockout gas on him and Winky while she, Atlasande and her new Lieutnant, Lassbaun, (I guess Darganto is still in prison) plan to destoy Posita with Trotanic [sic] missiles before it becomes a threat. Atlasande had laid out a similar plan that involved destroying the moon after it was evacuated, but Cleolanthe finally shows she is in fact insane and just wants to kill people. They leave at once to destroy Posita. Trinka escapes her super-minimum security holding cell, grabs Rocky and Winky, then run back to the Orbit Jet to chase down Cleolanthe. TO BE CONTINUED. We finally learn that Ophiuchus has been forcibly cut off from the outside and the citizens have no idea what happens off planet. That might explain why the is a communication blackout around the Ophiuchus Formation in Beyond the Curtain of Space. There is reference to a growing resistance movement.

Crash of Moons, part III- I'm impressed with the goings on in this one. Cleolanthe begins firing on Posita, but Rocky is able to disable her ship. Atlasande, who has become disillusioned with her, takes her into custody when she declares him a traitor. Cleolanthe becomes even more insane throught the episode. On Posita there is only 14 days left and evacuation to Negato proceeds using their aircraft. Several days later, the evacuation is complete. Rocky and Atlasande have a new plan, using the Ophiuchian rocket, fire all the Trotanic missiles in the hope of changing its orbital trajectory. Newton declares the bombardment a failure (furthur solidifying Cleolanthe has no idea what she's doing), Rocky leaves Winky and Drake in charge of the Orbit Jet and he heads off to Ophiuchus to warn everyone that the United Worlds will help evacuate the entire planet. When they land they are overrun with military personal trying to take their ship, since they no longer listen to Cleolanthe. Trinka somehow manages to calm everyone and a planetwide broadcast is made. Cleolanthe further complains no one cares about her planet and it's all conspiracy to remove her from power. In good faith the Orbit Jet will be the last one to leave the doomed planet with Rocky, Winky, Vena, Bobby, Professor Newton, Atlasande, and Trinka. Cleolanthe wishes to die on Ophiuchus, but at the last second Atlasande forcibly drags her to the Orbit Jet. Far from planetary orbit they watch Posita slam in to Ophiuchus. On the Astrophone Torvak, leader of the Negato people, explains it's the people that make a culture not to land. THE END. I'm surprised they destroyed an important planet in the story, and the visuals weren't bad either (for the time, that is). There is a good evacuation scene with at least a dozen rockets scattered in a landing field launching one after another. Medina rockets were mixed in with Space Ranger rockets, so they must have offered assistance, too. This three-parter was turned into a movie that appears on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Kip's Private War- Someone has been sabotaging some important pieces of equipment around the Office of Space Affairs. Rocky and Winky come back to Earth on the Orbit Jet to help figure it out. There is an issue with the planet Apollo Minor to contend with as well. A new boy, Kip, has been employed and runs around the place unsupervised. I hate when writers give the audience more of a clue than the characters. It makes them look like idiots. The episode title has Kip's name in it and we see him sneering in the background, so we know way too early that Kip is involved. Has Space Affairs learned nothing from all the Human agents Cleolanthe has working for her? Kip manages to break communication equipment, the gantry system and cars. No excuse. Bobby finds him letting out the air of Drake's car. How does Bobby stop him? He attacks him, totally beating Kip. Rocky and Vena come outside and see the boys fighting, which they break up. Keep in mind Bobby totally idolizes Rocky Jones and goes on lots of missions with him. Rocky usually deals with a problem by beating it up, so it's no wonder Bobby reacted violently. Why does Space Affairs keep employing children? It turns out Kip's dad, Mickey, was a thief who was caught by Rocky and held in jail at headquarters. Kip gets visiting rights and his dad is proud of his chaotic behavior. Instead of restraining Kip for terrorist actions against Earth, he makes Kip live with him and Winky. Kip plays a joke on them using a sound board device he made that keeps the two awake. To further the positive influence Rocky is sure Kip needs, there's the Apollo Minor mission. Apollo Minor has a weak, but legitimate government, that is trying to keep a warlord, Pinto Vortando, from winning a local election. The United Planets want the same thing so they send Rocky there to support the legitimate government. (This sounds like a political Afghanistan story.) So Kip comes along on this important mission and wants attention by using his sound board device to scare Winky. Rocky reads him the riot act, but Kip doesn't care. After landing on Apollo Minor Vortando's henchmen capture Rocky, Winky, Vena, Bobby and Kip. Kip backstabs Rocky and Winky by telling them a lie about the United Worlds. Vena, Bobby and Kip are free to hang out on the planet, but they all go back to the Orbit Jet. Kip is in their face about what he did, but Bobby actually refuses to beat the crap out of him because it ain't worth it. You see, Kip just wants attention. Rocky and Winky escape their cell, and get captured again, this time with the threat of death. Kip uses his sound board to simulate an all out Space Ranger attack on Vortando's compound and they rescue Rocky and Winky. Pinto Vortando is humiliated in front of his own people by two children and he loses power. The government is once again in charge, and the Orbit Jet leaves for Earth. THE END. One of only three stand-alone episodes. This is almost an exact repeat of the episode The Boy Who Hated Superman in The Adventures of Superman. No new tech showed off except Kip's stupid sound board which must have been more than it appeared, because it simulated deep bass and surround sound like a Boze speaker system.