The Comet into Space Experiment

April, 1954, gave us four more Rocky Jones, Space Ranger episodes. The writers of this show are about as far from scientific accuracy as you can get. I suppose I can't blame them, because everything they're writing about is almost unknown or just speculative. This is an era where we still thought there could have been intelligent life on Mars, because those canals had to be built by someone. Right? Today we, non-scientist and non-astronomers, have access to the accumulated knowledge of half-a-century since the show aired. Then again, if this is the kind of stuff networks were showing kids then it's no wonder Sci-Fi has been looked down upon for so long. It took 2001: A Space Odyssey, Star Wars and Alien to show the true potential for the genre. As much as I complain I still like watching Rocky Jones, because every once in a while they have a good idea.

Bobby's Comet, part I- There is so much wrong with the premise of this episode I'll try to be brief. Missiles from an unknown source in space land on Earth, one near Newton's Observatory (which looks suspiciously like Griffith Observatory). Rocky and Winky are out on their own looking for Griff, even though we all saw his car explode in Behind the Curtain of Space, part III, he may have lived. Rocky is recalled to face this new menace. It is explained by Vena that by back tracking the ellipses (their word for "orbit") of the missiles they originate on Fornax, a moon of Jupiter. This is surprising because their current science says there's no life on that moon. They begin to describe a world that actually sounds like Io, but with a people adept at using crystal technology (sadly not in the way of Kryptonian tech). The Space Ranger fleet is alerted to the new threat, but on one of the stations Griff is in fact alive and holding the one crew member at gun point. He learns Rocky is planning a trip to Fornax and leaves to intercept him. The Orbit Jet crew assembles and boards, taking all the main characters. After clearing Earth orbit Griff attacks them (because nobody but Vena ever looks at a RADAR); Rocky manages to cripple his engines. But they wasted a lot of fuel in the fight, so they have three options; go back to Earth and refuel, go to station RV5 for fuel, or just go there and hope they find a civilization advanced enough to give them fuel. They unanimously choose the latter. It makes for a better cliffhanger I guess. They arrive and find a place to land on the planet near some artificial structures, burning their remaining fuel on a moon with twice Earth gravity. TO BE CONTINUED. Just a thought; wouldn't it have been faster to send someone already in space, then going through the time and expense of launching from Earth? Things wrong with science: Newton gets meteors and comets confused, as well as not really caring that one is about to hit the Earth; Rocky does a 180 degree turn with the Orbit Jet and flies through its own sound wave to wake up a napping Winky (What?). To be fair, he was flying in what looked like atmosphere, but he was supposed to be in space; There is no such moon as Fornax anywhere, it's a constellation; There is never an attempt by the crew to wear a space suit while on board, Professor Newton even wears a top hat; The launch of the Orbit Jet has to be pull more g's to get to Jupiter in one go, but the crew blacks-out at just over 4g's. The average human blacks-out at over 5g's, but if only the crew would at least put a G-Suit on they could go up to 9g's. If you are lying on your back during a rocket launch you can handle up to 17g's without losing consciousness. Winky almost kills everyone because the Orbit Jet has an auto-pilot lift-off routine, which he accidentally turns off when he blacks-out, wakes up, then blacks-out again; The Office of Space Affairs has a map of the solar system that is just a non-moving picture on the wall, yet they plan all their navigation routes from it, like the solar system isn't in motion; Since they run their rockets during the entire mission wasting fuel anyway, there is no reason for a such a dramatic blast-off.

Bobby's Comet, part II- On the surface of Fornax we see a new piece of tech, the Mechanical Canary. I assume the name is meant to reference the use of a canary in a coal mine as an early warning of bad air. The Mechanical Canary is an atmospheric sensor suite that deploys from the side of the ship. The data is relayed to a panel on the Bridge near the door. From the visiograph they see strange pyramidal shaped buildings. The atmosphere is breathable so they all take a walk to the first pyramid with a door in it. The door opens and out comes Zoravac, leader of the Fornaxians, and an old rival of Newton, Professor Cardos. Zoravac has been hosting Cardos on the moon for eight years since he crashed landed, and gets all of his knowledge of the United Worlds from him. Zoravac even claims the only way to get the attention of Earth was to shoot a missile at it, I'm guessing because the Space Ranger radio system doesn't extend to Jupiter orbit. Everyone seems friendly but Rocky takes Winky back to the ship. Using the visiograph he spies on everyone, with an X-Ray vision setting that also includes audio, they watch Vena try out some local fashions and catches Cardos hatching a plan with Zoravac. Rocky and Winky head back the pyramid and get in a fight while overhearing Cardos' plans. Zoravac has been lead to believe humans from Earth are evil and want war, but Rocky's offer of friendship intrigues him, so he shares the fuel system they use on their missiles to help get the Orbit Jet back into space. The test flight works and Rocky takes Winky and Zoravac to Earth, leaving Vena, Newton and Bobby on Fornax. TO BE CONTINUED. More bad science, but at least a visually interesting moon. Fornax has twice Earth gravity (in other words 2g's) but the only effect on the main characters is getting out of breath while running around. Rocky makes an insulting joke to Vena that she's putting on weight and to go check on the cargo scales. She's shocked to find out she weighs 236 pounds. Then they laugh at her. All of them should feel heavy, but they don't. The three rooms are laid out along the length of the rocket, but even when it's vertical the room's gravity always points toward the deck plating. So artificial gravity must be on at all times or everyone would fall to the back of the rocket. But then, while vertical on Fornax, Vena weighs herself, which doesn't work either. The only way I can justify this is to say the interior is actually gyroscopically balanced for gravitational environments and rotates around the middle room where the "airlock" is. Artificial gravity must only be used for space.

Bobby's Comet, part III- The Orbit Jet makes it to Earth and Zoravac meets with Secretary Drake. On Ophiuchus, Cleolanthe meets with Darganto, her right-hand man, and Griff about Fornax and the power their crystals hold. They want to get their own ship there and plant a flag before the United Worlds can. With the Fornaxian leader on Earth, Darganto's crew, including Griff, land on Fornax and take it over. Cardos sees an opportunity and joins the invading force (totally about half a dozen). Bobby has been hanging out with Zoravac's daughter, Volaca, and since the Ophiuchians didn't lock up the Space Rangers, he realizes they'll ignore a couple kids running around. A deal has been made on Earth, so Rocky and Winky launch in the Orbit Jet to deal with a new missile threat before taking Zoravac home. Meanwhile, Bobby manages to grab their portable astrophone (which is a real-time, wireless space communication system) and hide out with Volaca. He calls Rocky to warn him what's transpiring on Fornax. The Ophiuchians finish loading power crystals on their ship, the WOV, when the Orbit Jet enters the atmosphere and shoots at it. The crystals are unstable and blowup the ship, killing all bad guys, except Darganto, Griff and Cardos. Once Rocky lands he takes them all captive and leaves Fornax with all the main characters on board (and I assume the prisoners). THE END. I wish the show had more budget so we could see more of the alien civilizations and maybe aliens that aren't human.

Escape into Space- This one has a promising start but descends into stupidity really quick. Truck Harmon, an Earth criminal, and his accomplice, Lawson, escape into space by stealing rocket R74 in front of the Office of Space Affairs. When Secretary Drake calls Rocky and Winky at home, the latter is going through his black book looking for a date. Eventually Drake gets through and tells Rocky what's up. This is his chance to catch Harmon, because running away into space puts him in Space Ranger jurisdiction. But the Orbit Jet is being repaired and upgraded, so it won't be ready until noon the next day. The next day they chase Truck to Fornax, but first, both ships get caught in a meteor storm. Harmon calls for help and locks Lawson in a damaged part of the ship where he suffocates to death. Rocky breaks more laws of science and gets Truck aboard the Orbit Jet. For some reason the closest place to land turns out to be Fornax. When they get there Rocky has a meeting with Zoravac and makes up a whole bunch of shazbot about losing custody of Harmon due to local laws. Bobby forced himself into the crew rotation just in case he could meet his new girlfriend from the last couple episodes, Volaca. Some time has passed since the last episode because the Fornax people actually had a Christmas to correspond to the Earth calendar, and now Bobby tells Volaca it's October. Fornax is really drinking the Earth Kool-Aid. Since it's near Halloween, Bobby teachers her about ghosts and scaring people, when Rocky remembers Harmon is superstitious. In the dumbest thing I've scene yet in the show Rocky takes a remote control ghost toy from Volaca and proceeds to fly it around Harmon, all the while hiding in the background, pretending to be the voice of Lawson. And it works, Harmon confesses. Rocky arrests them and they leave for Earth. THE END. One of a very few stand-alone episodes. I like the Fornax continuity and that's about it. There is no big deal now about launching from Earth to Fornax, which I assume is part of the crystal tech upgrade all Space Ranger rockets would get in the new treaty from last episode. Here is my big science complaint for the episode. Even though all rockets in the show have an external hatch there is no way for one ship to dock with another. For Rocky to get to Harmon in the R74, he magnetically clamps to the ship so his engine room hull touches the navigation room hull of the other. He then dons an actual spacesuit and proceeds to blowtorch a hole, first in the Orbit Jet's hull, then into R74's hull. Once he crosses through he has Winky vent all the atmosphere from Orbit Jet's nav room into its engine room to force air into R74's nav room. Once he grabs Harmon and all the money he's stolen in his career (leaving the dead body of Lawson), they cross back over to the Orbit Jet and Rocky has to re-weld the hull. That's how dumb this episode is.

I have mentioned before that some characters on different planets seem to drive the same car. I think there is only one car model left in the future that everyone (even aliens) drive, and it is a 1953 Grantham Stardust. There must be weather modification technology on all these planets because that car is a convertible.